“I grieve for all the tomorrows that will never be”
The grief I’ve learned is not just simply about missing the other person that’s gone. But also missing the hopes, dreams, and futures. Being left behind is everyone’s greatest fear, and now that I had to face it, every-single-day, it comes to a point that I feel so numb.
I know I am not alone. During this pandemic, thousands or even millions of people are grieving every day. Grieving for their future, their life, their job, their health, and even their loved ones. This moment of crisis is indeed difficult to face for everyone.
It brings me comfort to know that I am not alone in dealing with all of this. On the other hand, I feel bad for the others. I feel bad that they had to go through what I've been through. Its just saddening and breaks my heart every time.
Recently the number of COVID-19 cases in Indonesia has been increasing. Many of my close friends have also experienced the loss of their father. Sad, really, really sad. Because I know what it's like to lose someone during this pandemic. Not being able to see them for the last time, not being able to participate in the funeral process, and even not be able to hold religious rituals are all limited for safety reasons.
Grief and loss have done impacts the future as well
. The hopes, dreams, and all of the plans that have been built together are all being shattered. The loss of my father is the most significant loss in my life. Losing a mentor, a loved one, and someone who was always been there for me as my safety net.
It's still very clear in my mind the last time we talked about the future. Making plans with mom and imagining our life in the future. We even talked about moving abroad and start a new life. But well, that’s the bitter reality of life. We had to say goodbye to even the things that we love the most.
“The worst part is not mourning the loss of what you did have, but mourning the loss of what you were supposed to have”
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